OCFF Fic!

joyfulgirl41 wrote for semisuper
Pairing: Ryan/Seth
Rating: R

Notes: semisuper asked for Seth/Ryan, their first fight either as friends or as more than friends. I hope that, if nothing else, this amuses you, babe.

Thanks to trinaest for the audiencing/betaing duties. You, as always, rock. *smooches*

***

Full Disclosure

***

Ryan was beginning to think that he'd made a mistake. It had seemed like a good idea at the time, after the royal disaster of random roommate assignments their freshman year, ("Dude, I'm pretty sure my roommate wants to kill me," Seth had said more than once) which reinforced a lesson they'd learned early on in their friendship. United, they were unstoppable, divided, people got shot. Besides, Ryan had lived with the Cohens for years, he could handle living with Seth again.

But living in the Cohens' pool house and living in a two-bedroom apartment with Seth were two entirely separate realities. For one thing, Seth without a maid was a huge slob. He left his stuff spread out over the entire apartment, with no logical method of placement. He also never did the dishes, which shouldn't have been too hard since they had a dishwasher. They'd been there three months and Ryan had already had to risk his health and sanity twice by venturing into Seth's room to collect dirty dishes when the cupboards became empty.

Then there was the whole space thing, which brought up a heap of issues Ryan wasn't ready to face quite yet, issues that had been sitting on the edge of his awareness for years now, waiting for the right time to be recognized. Ryan had been safe while he and Marissa were together, while Seth and Summer were together, but Marissa had dumped him last year and Summer and Seth had broken up six months later ("Totally mutual decision").

The thing was, living in such a small place with someone was an intimate experience, more than the dorms with their communal bathrooms and closet-sized rooms. And it caught Ryan at random moments when he wasn't expecting it-- Seth stumbling out of his bedroom at one o'clock on a Saturday afternoon, his hair sticking up, his eyes half-lidded and his lips red like he'd just spent the past three hours kissing someone. And what was the deal with that anyway? Seth woke up looking like he'd just been thoroughly fucked.

And that, in a nutshell, was Ryan's problem. They'd both had girlfriends that they'd cared for and because of it, they could spend their time together as brothers. Now they were both single and Ryan was having trouble dealing with the fact that the initial attraction he'd felt when he and Seth met hadn't disappeared over the course of his relationship with Marissa.

So here he was at eight o'clock on a Monday morning when he had a nine o'clock class to get to, waiting outside the bathroom for Seth to finish his shower-- he'd been in there at least twenty minutes-- torn between wanting to kill him or fuck him. Something had to give. Soon.

"Seth!" Ryan banged his head against the door twice, but he was pretty sure Seth hadn't heard him.

Seth had the stereo cranked all the way up, listening to the CD that Summer had given him when they'd broken up. I Will Survive had just ended, ("She thinks she's funny," Seth had said the first time they'd listened to it) and It's Raining Men ("But she is obviously and emphatically not") was now playing.

Ryan had gone from hating Seth's ex-roommate to believing he would have been totally justified in killing him. Seth had stopped singing, but the water was still running and everything that was wrong with the day so far, combined with the fact that they were out of coffee ("Sorry, dude. I totally forgot to get some when I was at the store") was working Ryan's last nerve. He looked at the clock, gritted his teeth, turned the handle and pushed open the bathroom door.

And stopped.

The cloud of steam hanging in the room and the frosted glass of the shower door weren't enough to distort the sight that Ryan beheld. Seth stood there, his head tilted back as the water beat against his chest. Ryan's eyes trailed down, taking in the movement of Seth's shoulder, his arm down to his elbow, down to his fist and fucking hell Ryan couldn't deal with this right now. Something had to give, something, something and Ryan wasn't sure what until the words were out of his mouth.

"You're masturbating?" Not a conscious decision, but anger was so much easier to deal with at the moment. "I have to go to class!"

"Oh my god!" Seth grabbed the washcloth hanging over the door and held it in front of his crotch. "What the hell? Get out of here!"

"You've been in here for thirty minutes! I need to take a shower too!"

"Ever heard of knocking?"

"I'm serious!"

"So am I! Get the fuck out of here!" Seth's distorted expression of outrage coupled with the profanity gave Ryan pause.

"Hurry up," he said finally as he backed out of the bathroom, pulling the door shut behind him. A second later came the wet slap of the washcloth hitting the door and falling to the ground with a plop.

Ryan leaned against the door, his anger flooding out of him, leaving a much more confused mix of emotions in its wake. Seth had sounded really pissed, which wasn't a good sign. Seth was like Sandy in that, when he got angry, he got sarcastic, pissy but not pissed. Ryan had never seen Seth pissed which meant that this was so not a good situation.

He went back into his room and got dressed, waiting until he heard the slam of Seth's bedroom door to dart out, grab his backpack and leave the apartment before Seth saw him. One day without a shower would be okay. By leaving now, he was simply giving Seth some time to cool off and not, in fact, being a big huge coward.

***

Ryan spent his class time working up what was left of his righteous anger. So what if he'd caught Seth in flagrante delicto? There were larger issues at stake! Ryan wouldn't have even walked in on Seth if Seth hadn't been in there forever. In order for the whole living together thing to work, they needed rules. House rules that they could both live with. Rules that didn't leave the image of Seth on the brink of orgasm etched into Ryan's mind.

So Ryan made a list.

1. Trash goes in the trash can. This includes all used napkins, Kleenexes, dental floss, fast food containers and anything else that a reasonable human being would consider trash. When the trash bag is full, it should be taken out to the dumpster.

2. Dirty dishes should be placed in the dishwasher once they are done being used. They should not be left in bedrooms, the living room, the deck, or the bathroom. When the dishwasher is full, add soap and turn it on. When the dishes are clean, unload them.

3. Shoes, dirty clothes, books, papers, backpacks, etc. should not be left in the middle of the living room. All such items should be confined to the bedroom.

4. When the toilet starts getting moldy, it's probably time to clean the bathroom. (Also, the matches are in there for a reason. I'm just saying...)

5. Whoever gets up first makes the coffee. Whoever uses the last of the coffee goes to the store and gets more before then next morning.

6. Any showers longer than twenty minutes in duration should be planned for accordingly. (Meaning, wake up early enough that the hot water has had time to replenish or wait until the other person has taken their shower.)

"You're kidding me with this, right?" Seth looked up from the paper to scowl at Ryan.

"I think if we both follow these rules, it will make this-- things will, um. Run. Easier." Ryan shifted uncomfortably, trying to remember what he'd planned to say. Seth still seemed pretty pissed.

"Hmmm, okay. Hey, I've got a rule to add. How about, 'Learn to fucking knock.' Does that work for you?" He slammed the paper against Ryan's chest and turned, stalked into his room and slammed the door behind him.

"Well, if you observed rule number six, it wouldn't be an issue," Ryan muttered, laying the sheet on the table. So Seth hadn't cooled off quite as quickly as he'd expected. But he'd be fine by the next day. It was Seth.

Except that when Ryan came home from class the next day, it was pretty clear that Seth was still angry. The apartment was spotless-- almost eerily so. The carpet was vacuumed (did they even own a vacuum?), the bathroom was entirely mold-free and the food in the refrigerator was sectioned off into the separate food groups, in what appeared to be alphabetical order.

But the biggest clue that Seth was still mad was the fact that he'd had Ryan's list laminated, but not before adding, "Herr Ryan's Commandments: Obey or Suffer the Consequences" to the top. At the bottom he'd signed his name and under it, he'd tacked a post-it note reading, "I couldn't find my vial of blood and my quill pen that I usually use to sign contracts of such grave importance. I assume that, should I break a commandment, the promise of my first born will be sufficient."

And, okay, the fact that Seth still wouldn't talk to him was also a big clue that it would maybe take a few more days for everything to get back to normal.

***

By Friday, Ryan was ready to climb the walls. The silence and the cleanliness of the apartment were buzzing under his skin, driving him to consider desperate things. He was ready to offer Seth anything-- permission to use every dish in the apartment without having to wash it, five hours of bathroom time in the morning, his first born-- to get Seth to talk to him again. Who knew that Seth Cohen could be so vindictive?

He must have learned it from Summer.

On top of that, Ryan was losing precious sleep time, because every time he closed his eyes, he saw Seth in the shower and Ryan was instantly hard and too paranoid to do anything about it. In his mind, Seth was just waiting for the right moment to burst in on Ryan and catch him with his pants around his knees and his cock in hand and yell, "I knew it!"

His mornings were very much the same whenever Ryan heard the shower turn on and he was still afraid to do anything, because what if it was just a ruse? His imagination would flash back and forth between images of Seth in the shower and images of Seth turning the water on and then sneaking to stand outside of Ryan's door, just waiting for him to give in to temptation.

It was too much. Something had to give and when Seth walked into the apartment after his classes on Friday in stony silence, Ryan knew that it was going to be him.

"Oh, come on!" he said before Seth had reached his room. "You can't possibly still be mad at me! I'm sorry, okay? I made a mistake, but don't you think you're taking it just a bit far?"

Seth paused for a moment before tossing his backpack into his room and turning to face Ryan. "Oh, am I? I’m sorry. What's the appropriate reaction for an invasion of privacy?"

"Give me a break, Seth. It's not like I did it on purpose. And yeah, I think you're overreacting. It's not like you were sacrificing small animals. Although, you know, there is that thing about the kittens where-- Okay, possibly not the time for that." They had evidently switched places. Seth had gotten Ryan's glare and Ryan had inherited Seth's habit of nervous babbling.

"Okay, well, how 'bout you have the person you're thinking about walk in on you while you're--" He made a graphic hand gesture. "--And then you tell me what is and isn't considered overreacting."

What?!? "What?!?"

Seth froze, his eyes widening. "What?"

"What did you just say?"

"That-- what?" All traces of righteous anger had left Seth's expression leaving (if Ryan was reading him correctly) total panic in its wake. "Um, someone walking in on you. You know."

"Not just someone, Seth. You said 'the person you're thinking about'."

Seth gave a half-hearted scoff. "I so did not say that. I think that was a Freudian slip. Of your ears." He took a step back as Ryan advanced toward him.

A wicked sense of glee bubbled in Ryan's chest. "What were you thinking about?"

"It's none of your business." Seth put his hands on his hips, paused, and then crossed them over his chest. "And don't try and change the subject."

"C'mon. What were you thinking about?"

"I don't have to tell you."

"You do too!"

"Says who?"

"Says the fact that it's me you were thinking about. I have a right to know!"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Is that, what, in the masturbation bylaws? 'Thou shalt tell one's masturbatory fantasies to the object of said fantasies'? Because, I gotta tell you, Ry, I'm pretty sure most people aren't choosing full disclosure on that." He bumped into the wall, which stopped his retreat, and then added, "Besides, I wasn't thinking about you."

Ryan grinned. "You totally were." He placed his hand on the wall beside Seth's head and leaned in so that he could whisper, "What were we doing?"

He grinned and pulled back, expecting to see some traces of lust in Seth's expression, but the look on Seth's face didn't quite match up and Ryan couldn't quite place the emotion behind it. Anger?

Suddenly, Seth reached out, shoving Ryan hard. "Fuck off," he said quietly before stalking past Ryan. He grabbed his keys and slammed the front door behind him.

Ryan stood there, so surprised by the quick turn of events that it took him a moment to process what had happened. And then he realized that Seth hadn't looked angry, he'd looked hurt.

"Shit."

By the time Ryan made it out to the parking lot, the car that they shared was long gone.

"Shit."

***

"So, okay, tell me what happened," Summer said as they drove toward Newport.

Ryan groaned, hitting his head softly against the headrest. He really hadn't wanted to call Summer, but there wasn't really anyone else he could call. "Seth and I got in a fight."

Summer rolled her eyes. "Yeah, thanks for the insight, Brainiac. What happened?"

"I walked in on him while he was in the shower, okay?"

"His morning shower?" She laughed. "Wait, yeah, give me a minute to appreciate that little picture. So he got mad that you caught him--" she did the appropriate hand gesture and then laughed again. "I would think that would be, like, a dream come true. Or was he mad that you didn't immediately drop to your knees and offer to suck him off then and there."

Ryan froze, his head pressed against the car seat as he studied Summer out of the corner of his eye. She was too busy flipping off the guy that had just passed them to notice. "What do you mean?"

She shot him an annoyed look. "Don't play dumb with me, Chino. Marissa and I got tired of playing beard a long time ago."

"Marissa was never a beard and you know it," Ryan said quietly. Her knowing that he had feelings for Seth was one thing, her implication that they invalidated his feelings for Marissa was something else completely.

"Okay, yeah. I know. I'm sorry. But did you really think that we didn't know about how you guys felt about each other? I mean, hello? You're both kind of obvious."

"Whatever. Can we just drop it?"

"Fine." She turned up the radio and ignored him for the rest of the drive.

He was relieved to see their car in the driveway when they pulled up to the Cohens' house.

"Thanks," he muttered as he got out of the car.

"You owe me for this, Chino. Hey!" Summer called as he started to walk away.

"What?"

She beckoned him closer with one finger and then, when he was close enough, reached out and grabbed his jaw, her fingernails digging sharply into his cheeks. "You hurt him and I'll pluck out your eyes and feed them to the seagulls. Rage blackouts." She released him and smiled. "Good luck."

"Thanks," Ryan said as he watched her pull out of the driveway and speed down the street. He rubbed his jaw, feeling the little crescent marks her nails left as he walked into the house.

***

Seth stood there blinking at him. "I can't believe you followed me. What the hell?"

"You kind of walked out in the middle of our conversation. Where are your parents?" Ryan asked as he walked into Seth's bedroom and shut the door behind him.

"Out for the night. And as far as I'm concerned, our conversation's done." There was something infinitely disturbing about the hard edge to the soft-spoken statement.

"Well, I'm not. We're in the pool house."

Seth looked around, as if to check and make sure that they were still in his room. "Huh?"

"In my fantasies."

"Your-- Huh?"

"Full disclosure," Ryan said as he backed Seth against the wall again. "We're in the pool house, on my bed. Studying, maybe. Or sometimes we're in the apartment and you walk into the living room looking like you've just been molested and I just can't help myself." His hands settled on Seth's hips and he stared at them for a moment before gathering the courage to look Seth in the eye.

Seth was staring at him in slack-jawed wonder, which really shouldn’t have been as sexy as it was. "Pool house?"

"Well, actually, recently, it's just been you in the shower," he whispered before brushing his lips against Seth's.

"You're such an asshole." Seth buried his fingers in Ryan's hair and pulled him in for another kiss.

Ryan groaned as he pressed his body against Seth's, one thigh between Seth's legs positioned in just the right way to create the most incredible friction. And it really shouldn't have been as good-- as incredible-- as it was, kissing and dry-humping against the wall. But Seth was making noises, like the sex equivalent of his babbling, and rolling his hips against Ryan's and too soon Ryan found himself shaking on the edge of release.

"God, Seth, I'm gonna--"

"Yeah," Seth panted, thrusting against Ryan harder and that was really all it took.

Ryan groaned and buried his face against Seth's neck as he came in his pants. His only consolation for that embarrassing little fact was that Seth was coming too, shaking in Ryan's arms as he kissed his neck.

"Um, yeah. So I'm feeling pretty sticky right about now," Seth said after a moment of silence.

"I'm right there with you, man."

"Shower?"

"I don't know. Are you gonna get mad at me?"

Seth snickered against Ryan's shoulder. "Well, see, if you start out in the shower with me, then you can't walk in on me, and therefore you would not be in violation of the 'knock before entering rule.'"

"Ahh, I see."

"Plus, you know, if we take a shower together, we'd be conserving hot water."

"And we care about the environment."

"We totally do." Seth pulled back to raise an eyebrow at Ryan. "So how about it? I'll wash your back if you wash mine?"

Ryan grinned. "I thought you'd never ask."